Sitting at the table they have gathered around numerous times before, three friends look apprehensive and nervous about what what is to come. The space which is seemingly familiar, holds tension as the future of the night is unknown. Andrew Cobb, Lauren Butz, and Tess Hejna are all seniors at Saint Louis University. Together they are tied through an invisible bond: friendship.
Tess Hejna, Andrew Cobb and Lauren Butz discuss their friendship Tuesday, March 31, 2015.
Friendship gives people a sense of belonging. It is what captures us in a good mood when times are difficult or it is what drives us to insanity when it falters. In the world toady negatives are emphasized. We hear what moves people to action: fear. This interview was about a different f-word. It is about a concept that is easy to possess but difficult to put into words. This discussion revolved around three best friends creating one friendship.
Agreeing to be interviewed without knowing the subject matter is a brave risk. Knowing that they could be asked about any subject, any concept, or any ideal but still agreeing is either testament to the bond formed between this group of friends or a foolish choice agreed upon under a fear of missing out. Luckily for this group, it was a matter they all understood beautifully otherwise their participation would not have been called upon.
The friends were as a series of questions ranging all over the friendship spectrum. Who do you consider your best friends? How do you know you all have reached the level of best friendship? How do we gravitate towards certain people, forming tight connections we label as friendships? How do you keep in contact with your friends? All of the questions asked attempted to uncover the secret of friendship.
Lauren Butz and Tess Hejna discuss how their friendship began during and the outlook for their future while being interviewed on Tuesday, March 31, 2015.
Being someone’s friend is something many hold to a high esteem. It is an honor. To some, friendship is a quality handed out quite easy. According to Cobb, “It [friendship] is effortless to give out to a worthy individual, but difficult to find a someone you trust enough for the title of best friendship.” Cobb believes it takes a good amount of time to vet a best friend. It is not a title that is given out on the first meeting, yet a honor someone grows into.
Andrew Cobb attentively listens to Tess Hejna while talking about how one becomes a best friend.
Describing the ways and characteristics of a best friend was hard to some. Hejna kept second guessing her statement regarding what qualities a best friend should possess. She stated, “Best friendship is a concept that is easy to think of. But when you personalize it, it becomes challenging to pinpoint all attributes of a great best friend.” Best friendship is an honor, that is something the friends agreed upon, yet they came to the conclusion that what defines a best friend changes for each person. Hejna said it best, “Asking me to describing why I am best friends with who I am with is like asking me to describe the why red is my favorite color. It just is.”
Tess Hejna talks about what she looks for in both a regular friendship and a best friendship.
Looking at past relationships can be emotional. Knowing at one point you and another held each other in such high regard and now barely speak is a thought process that brings back sensitive feelings. Over the course of her life Butz has had eight best friends. While discussing past best friends Butz said, “It is sad to think that I once consider those people my closest friend in the entire world and now I don’t even talk to them.” Friendships end. It is a harsh reality this is difficult to face. Butz stated, “It is an emotional thought process to have especially at this turning point in my life. Soon we will all be in different states pursuing our career aspirations, it will be a challenge to keep our friendship at the level it is now, but I think we can do it.” The distance they all would be putting between them has been a great concern as graduation approaches. Though as Cobb put it eloquently, “you can’t dwell on the mights of the future, you have to stay in the gift of the present.” To be fair he said he might have read that in his horoscope recently.
Lauren Butz gives consideration to what her best friends are saying while discussing how friendships come to an end.
Discovering the reasoning of friendship proved difficult to uncover, yet the process of trying was well worth the time. Friendship is an amazing concept which people enjoy daily. It is an invisible tread that ties us together. While it is not tangible nor easy to discuss because it is abstract, it is important to have conversations about. Talking about friendship, especially at major turing points in one’s life such as leaving college, is important to do. Keeping healthy lines of communication open is essential to maintaining friendships.
Three people sitting in a room discuss one similarity that binds them together: friendship. This is a friendship they believe can last the span of their lifetime, after all they did blindly agree to this interview. As Butz then stated, “If we can make it though this interview talking about our friendship, then I am sure we will be just fine.”
*Wish to get in touch with any of the participants of the interview? All can be reached via email and are ready for any questions you may have regarding friendship!
Lauren Butz: lbutz2@slu.edu
Andrew Cobb: acobb8@slu.edu
Tess Hejna: thejna@slu.edu